


Impermanence

by AngelOfDeath10



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dubious Consent, F/M, Lemon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 23:24:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21089546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfDeath10/pseuds/AngelOfDeath10
Summary: Sakura is visiting Suna for the chunin exams as a guest medic and unfortunately catches Gaara's eye.





	Impermanence

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a gift fic for 10,000 views to my multi-Saku lemon collection (Variety Pack) when it was on adultfanfiction dot net (which no longer exists, and changed formatting when the site moved to another domain).
> 
> Disclaimer: As expected I don't own Naruto's characters.
> 
> Originally written prior to 2007, under the name Lady Dementia.

Petal soft like the flowers she had been named for, Gaara ran a hand down her hair and on to the exposed skin of her arm above the sheet. He wanted to wake her up, to devour her again, to watch the expression on her face alter as she realized anew that it was his bed she had ended up in. . . and it was in his bed that she was going to stay. Nearly a week had passed already, and the novelty of waking to his watchful gaze was something that caused her amusement and frustration in turns.

Possessive would be too mild a word to define how he had constructed his attachment to the Konoha kunoichi. It was more painful than leading a village, by far, because of two important factors: there were many Suna villagers and therefore it was difficult to individuate and give any sort of precedence over any other member of the village, and secondly there was no physical attachment Gaara had for any member of his village. Sakura was special, and the deeper their bond grew the more he dreaded the day she would have to leave.

*  
*  
*

The chuunin exam was held in Sand this year, with Gaara confident of making a good showing of the talents of his village and looking forward in general to the presence of the Konoha ninjas he remembered from the exam a few years ago, but really only a few in specific. When Lee did show up, Gaara allowed his pleasure to rise to the surface of his impassive sand mask. It was with shock and a mild feeling of betrayal when that even slightly unguarded expression was also witnessed by a pink haired girl who had been obscured by Lee until he rushed up to enthusiastically greet Gaara.

The girl was disturbingly familiar for some reason. Gaara searched his sometimes scattered memory of the days before his illusions to insanity fell away to mere instability. The name did nothing for him, Sakura Haruno, but the pink hair caused a shard of pain to streak through his heart.

“I’m here to volunteer as a medic for the exam.” Sakura politely spoke to him, but avoided meeting his eyes. “It is part of the reason the Hokage was so willing to let me attend the exams, if you will accept this goodwill gesture.”

Why would he refuse? A good medic was worth his or her weight in gold. Gaara knew how easy it was to take life, and the ability to save it had only recently begun to interest him. As for a medic trained personally by the infamous Tsunade, well, it would be stupid to refuse even if he wanted to. Diplomacy was slow in coming to him, but he went through the motions he had learned from books and the advice of others.

“I thank you. Is there anything you need that we may supply you for this duty?” 

“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. Your permission to be on the medical team should be sufficient to allow me access to the materials and facilities that I need.” She nodded stiffly and walked back towards the arriving Konoha party with steps that ate up the ground. The girl was small, but she carried herself grandly.

Gaara tore his eyes away from her retreating for slowly to find Lee doing the same. The tall boy in the green jumpsuit and jacket hadn’t changed a bit, it seemed. All his emotions were laid bare to the world, his happiness, his anger, his joy. . . Gaara was almost embarrassed to look at him.

“I know it might seem unreasonable, but I wish to ask you a favor as a friend.” Lee watched Sakura’s retreating form with a mixture of fondness and determination.

“What?” Gaara neither agreed to nor contradicted the statement. The time he spent talking to Lee was always emotionally confusing, as the other boy’s overtures of friendship seemed genuine. To be so charitable to someone who had nearly crippled and killed you. . . Lee fascinated him just as Naruto did.

Lee smiled brightly, looking more like his mentor every time Gaara saw him. “Ever since Sakura started training to be a medic she has had a tendency to do more than she could possibly manage. I want you to keep an eye on her, to tell her when she needs to stop since it would probably have to be an actual order. Her devotion to her cause is admirable, but she’ll drive herself to destruction just like I. . .” He shook his head, clearing away old memories. Gaara felt guilt hanging heavy in his throat, choking him. How could he say no after that? It was all the more frustrating because Lee hadn’t conjured up memories of Gaara’s past barbarism on purpose. Lee wouldn’t use such blatantly manipulative tactics.

“I’ll watch this Sakura of yours then.” He quelled his agitated mind and tried to re-center his thoughts.

Lee’s smile fell, but even if it faltered it didn’t make him any less outwardly pleasant. “She’s not mine, I’m afraid. Thank you, Gaara. . . Kazekage.” He inclined his head and promised to talk with Gaara later when things were less hectic what with needing to help manage to settle all the genins who were taking the test into their new surroundings.

The seeds of Gaara’s undoing were sown that day with Lee’s admission, but at the time all Gaara could remember thinking was how next year someone else’s village should host the chuunin exams. This was already a headache in the making, and he didn’t have the benefit of being able to sleep through any of his cranial pain.

It annoyed Gaara how correct Lee had been. In addition to meeting with daimyo, general appointments with his council and any other shinobi who had made arrangements to speak to him, and reviewing the data about the genin entering the exam, Gaara found that he actually did need to keep an eye on the pink haired kunoichi. Her distinctive head of hair bobbed all over the place, getting into people’s business, even bossing around and instructing the Sand medics every now and then as to how they should be treating genin when they came in with injuries from practicing before the tests. There were a few complaints, but a negligible amount, and she was being far more helpful than hurtful. At first Gaara wondered if she slept as little as he did, since she had her finger in every pie in this exam.

Later on, when Lee and Gaara actually found a moment to talk to one another, Lee made excuses for her behavior when Gaara told of how busy Sakura had become. It had something to do with the first chuunin exam she was in, he postulated, since that had been a traumatizing event for her. She had become a different person by the end, and her antics were probably both an attempt to protect others even as she tried not to relive old pains. Then the topic had shifted to a lighter one as Lee enquired after Gaara’s family and the general state of the hidden village.

Apparently a lot of people had been changed by the end of that fateful chuunin exam.

Memories invaded his mind at night when he was pouring over paperwork and most of the rest of the village was asleep. With the crack of his pen breaking Gaara suddenly remembered Sakura Haruno, and the ink ran down his fingers with the consistency of blood and ruined the document he had been preparing.

She had very nearly been another one of his victims. It was all too clear now: his rage, Sakura’s attempt to save her friends, his sudden association of her with Yashamaru. . . Like Lee, she had walked up to him with no hesitation and spoken to him. So clear, so purposeful. Now his promise to Lee made little difference because Sakura had taken on a significance to him that he wanted to better understand. With a mind that rarely stopped even if he was outwardly placid, Gaara knew what it was to work over ideas until they were the only thing that filled his world. The luxury to obsess was less available now than it used to be, but his nights were his own and therefore his nights all at once became clouded with thoughts of green eyes not unlike his own.

At the first exam, she was present and so was he. Being only the first part and intended to eliminate the truly causal genins, Gaara felt no need to pay much attention to it. He would be given more reports than he would ever desire to read about it later. It was more interesting to watch Haruno’s reactions. 

She was so bright and alert. Nothing seemed to escape her notice and there were people coming every so often to speak to her. It startled Gaara to note that they were some of Sand’s medics. How had she gained such a tight network of people so quickly? Was this the kind of training one received from the Hokage? No, Tsunade wasn’t a very cooperative woman, this was more likely a reflection of Sakura’s personality. She liked being in control, she liked being informed, and she was personable enough (or assertive enough) to organize things to suit her. He watched her with mixed feelings of fascination and amusement until she began to sway on her feet. Gaara wasn’t the only one to notice and someone put a hand on her arm to steady her. She leaned at them and smiled, waving them away.

Doesn’t need anyone’s help. Gaara felt the corner of his mouth twitch up. She was standing in the sun, and had been for quite a while. She may not have even noticed, she was so intent on the people around her. Lee’s comments about her devotion to her job seemed justified.

“Call up the Konoha ninja Haruno to me.” Gaara told one of his aids. They nodded and moved off to pass on the message. This would get her out of the sun, and it would give him the opportunity to finally speak to her about her disruptive influence on his medics. It wasn’t intended to be a reprimand so much as a notification, a few words of caution. He didn’t want outsiders messing up his village in any way, at any level of life.

Sakura marched into his presence, annoyed at being taken from her position down where all the action was. What if she was needed? She hid her irritation imperfectly, but that might have been because she looked on the verge of collapse. Gaara gestured towards the water near him and she shook her head. 

“What do you need me for?” 

Gaara didn’t say anything for a while, letting the silence sit between them thickly in the heat. A drop of sweat was running down the side of her face but she made no move to swipe at it. Gaara hoped she had put some sun protection on that pretty white skin of hers, since she looked like the type that would burn before she would tan.

“I hear you’ve been quite active in the past couple days before the first exam.”

It wasn’t obvious that he was displeased, but Sakura knew very well how she had walked in and taken over the workings of things as much as possible.

“I am simply making things easier for everyone in the only way I know how.” Her body was swaying again. She should have been fine now that she was in the shade of his pavilion above the exam grounds. This didn’t bode well.

“Have some water.” He gestured at it again, keeping his rising anger in check. Why couldn’t she take care of herself? Was she that set on doing her job? Concern jagged through him and he crushed it as quickly as he detected it. 

Sakura was more intent on continuing to justify her actions than actually listening to Gaara’s words. Her pale face reddened at the cheeks from the force of her words, but her body had begun to shiver and she continued to sweat. This was going to get ugly soon, and he was the closest person to her. . .

“. . . and then they told me they didn’t even have a contingency plan for it! You can see I did what I—ahh, I mean—just a moment I think I need to. . .” Her eyes rolled back and finally her legs gave out. The heat stroke that she had been verging on had finally overcome her healthy body’s defenses.

Sand cradled her and Gaara transported her limp body over to where he sat. He made sure to keep her feet slightly elevated and then brought the container of water over to where he sat as well. Perhaps he should have called for medical assistance for her, but he knew very well what they would do and for some obscure reason he didn’t want to trust this job to anyone else. Gaara shrugged out of his Kazekage robes and opened up the container to dunk them in. Once they had absorbed as much as they were going to, he wrapped them around Sakura’s supine form and stood away from her. It was strange to be walking around in his underclothes, the loose pants and shirt that he had sported as his former daily attire, but no one was going to question his actions even when he walked away with Sakura’s unconscious body trailing after him on a bed of sand.

*  
*  
*

The sun hadn’t risen yet when Sakura felt the gentle brush of skin against skin and remembered with a sleepy smile what had happened the night before. They hadn’t even made it through dinner before Gaara had been ready. She had said she wanted to finish eating. He had put sand in their food. She had yelled at him for wasting their meal. He had kissed her until she wasn’t sure what she was angry about anymore.

He was watching her again. She didn’t need to open her eyes because she could feel his gaze penetrating the sheet she wore loosely around her body. It was chilly at night here, so covering was necessary, but she felt the sheet being pulled off and scrunched up her face while the air cooled her skin too fast.

“I’m still asleep.” She forced herself to keep her eyes closed as her contradictory statement made him rasp out a low chuckle. Sakura felt the sheet be pulled the rest of the way off of her body, and a hand roll her from her side onto her back. 

Right when she was forming a question, her slightly puckered lips were caught up in a kiss. It might have been intended to be gentle, but Gaara still had a hard time keeping his excitement from taking over. His tongue slid over her teeth and she opened her mouth for him to explore. Gaara bit down on her lip, capturing it with sharp teeth, then running his tongue over the marks he had made. He nipped his way down her neck and she finally noticed how her chest was heaving. At least she wasn’t cold anymore.

“Awake yet?” He asked from somewhere near her solar plexus. Sakura opened her eyes and met his darkly circled ones so that she could see his reaction when she shook her head. “Good.” Was his reply as his body settled closer to hers and his mouth encircled the tip of her breast and his fingers slithered down her belly.

Gaara bit down slightly on her nipple even as his fingers slid into her and the combined sensation caused her to gasp and then make a little disapproving noise in the back of her throat. His sadistic tendencies were sometimes exciting, but there was always the thrill of fear in the back of her mind that someday he would take it to far. Things weren’t entirely perfect about their liaison, but they were both learning.

*  
*  
*

She had awoken in the hospital, and it was the nurses she was being attended by that told her that the Kazekage himself had brought her in and tended her for a few hours before his duties had called him away. It was bothersome that she had to be grateful to that man, but she knew that gratitude was expected in a situation like this. Really she was only mad at him because he seemed to feel a need to keep some sort of strange observation on her activities. Sakura knew what she was doing and she knew how to take care of herself. Years of feeling like a weak person, albeit a smart one, had left her with something to prove. Collapsing in front of Gaara, well, that was a blow to her pride. The blow would be refreshed when she went to thank him, as she would go make an appointment to do immediately.

Lee came to visit her in the hospital, but she was getting ready to go just as he burst on the scene with more worry than information about her condition. Sakura made sure to prove that she was perfectly fine, simply a little tired and a little sunburnt, so he could go back to whatever he needed to be doing. Her sharp tone wasn’t any reflection of how she felt about his presence, and more her anger at herself for being put in this position.

It was evening when she made her way to the Kazekage’s office. There was staff there twenty four hours a day for their sleepless leader, and she intended to simply submit her name to the queue of people who wanted to speak to him. To her shock she was shown into his office nearly upon her arrival. It seemed he was expecting her and wished to speak with her. Then again, their conversation had been cut short earlier.

This office wasn’t anything like Tsunade’s. The Hokage always had books lying around, scrolls, empty plates and bottle of sake, the bed in the corner for her pig, and any number of miscellanies. The Kazekage’s office could be considered sterile at best. Sakura had taken it for granted that there would be stuff everywhere. There was no sign anywhere that Gaara had personalized this office. He had been Kazekage since he was fourteen, and now, almost seven years later, there was nothing that would need to be cleaned out if by some strange twist of fate he died. Was his existence so unremarkable that he had nothing of value to display? Not even a family photo?

“You recovered quickly.” Gaara hadn’t stood or even made any move other than the slow turn of a page in whatever report he was examining.

“I’m a medic.” Sakura said as if that were all the explanation she needed to give. Gaara looked up finally, with something lighting up his eyes in a way that made them look unnaturally bright.

“Well, you did collapse in front of me not long ago.” Did he have to say it like that? She felt bad enough about that as it was. Sakura approached his desk and noted with some curiosity that his robes looked oddly folded, sticking to him in a way that implied the heavy fabric was wet.

They did say that he brought her in and tended to her. . . what would she have done if someone had gotten heat stroke in front of her. . .

Kazekage or no, Sakura felt herself go into autocratic medic mode. “Don’t tell me you’ve been in those wet robes all this time, particularly at night.”

Gaara arched an eyebrow at her and her abrupt subject change. She threw up her hands and moved around to where he sat behind the desk and pressed a hand to his forehead to check his temperature.

“You seem slightly chilled, but not too bad. I think you need to either go change or have a change of clothes brought to you. This is foolishness, not taking care of yourself. . . if you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.”

She bit her lip hard when his eyes glazed over, and she withdrew her hand as if she had been burned by his clammy skin. It wasn’t just that she had touched him, although that was what caused her to go into slight shock since she was half expecting a funeral shroud of sand to envelop her at any moment. No, it was what she said, so soon after noting how bare his office was or rather more accurately, how bare his life was. . . ._you don’t have anything_. . . The old adage might have been a little bit too true for this situation and guilt overwhelmed her fear.

“You will come see me tomorrow.” Gaara said, that glazed look still marring his vision. “For a checkup.” His lips quirked. “That is all.”

Woodenly, Sakura moved away from him and forced herself not to look back when she felt his eyes boring into her from behind. Maybe she could blame the heat stroke on her behavior tomorrow, even though they would both know it was a lie. But right now the discomfort of a convenient lie would be much more acceptable than the strange butterflies she had wandering around in her stomach. She had made such a mess of things today.

And as it turned out, it just got worse. 

When Gaara had said he wanted a checkup, he had been perfectly serious. The Sand medics may have had great respect for their leader, but not even respect or concern for him could get any of them to touch him. They had to touch him for either a chakra scan or for an old fashioned physical, and what they could not bring themselves to do Sakura had started almost without thinking.

That had been the difference, however, because that first time she hadn’t been thinking and the second time she found herself thinking too much. There had been no mention of her words to him yesterday, and no further attempts to talk about her role among the medics in the chuunin exam, instead Gaara politely and formally asked her to give him a checkup. He gave her a guarantee that Shukaku would not bother with her so long as her chakra scan was fairly shallow, and that he would not interfere with a physical examination at all.

They were in his office alone again, and it was night time. Sakura had had nothing to do, what with the second part of the exam underway and all the genin out in the desert somewhere. Her little episode had gotten her taken off the lists of those going out to monitor the competitors, much to her chagrin. Here she was, instead, feeling up the young, magnetic, fit, _possessed_ Kazekage. Sakura made her mind restate the word with extra emphasis lest any of those other words that had preceded it try to crop up again. Stupid inner self, she could at least show some discretion.

Gaara took off his shirt, but stopped there when he watched her face go slack and her mouth thin into a line. She didn’t find this funny at all, even if Gaara seemed to. Her hands lightly skimmed over him, noting that even years later he looked fragile to her. His body wasn’t emaciated, but he did look about two missed meals away from collapse and she reflected anew over the consequences he must suffer over never getting a full and complete rest.

“Do you always work, or do you make sure to take time off for yourself at night?” Tsunade had told her that having a good bedside manner would help her, but that it wasn’t necessary. Right now it felt as necessary as breathing to take her mind off of what she was doing and distance them from how personal it felt. Of all the bad situations she had roped herself into. . .

“I have a few hours to myself.”

She waited for him to elaborate, then gave it up as a lost cause. His heartbeat had quickened in the time since she had started the exam. It was probably anxiety, since if she had rarely been touched she would find it stressful too. His control was amazing, because Sakura never would have suspected anything if she hadn’t been examining his insides.

“You might think about giving yourself more time, or take up a hobby. Maybe get a pet. You’ll work yourself into an early grave at this rate.” Ixnay on the eath-day. Her brain supplied complete with little mental throat slitting motions.

“When?” Gaara mumbled, almost to himself.

Her guilt redoubled, folded in on itself, ate her alive. Sakura felt like the worst person on the face of the planet. This Gaara, a Kazekage who had done everything for his people still couldn’t even get a medic to check up on him and here she was, under his defense, callously sniping at him with her words. Even if it wasn’t on purpose it was inexcusable. Sakura stopped doing her job in a lackluster manner and really bent into being thorough about her check up.

An hour of complete silence passed, with Sakura only pausing to make notes on a pad of paper she had brought with her; Gaara’s check up was complete. She pronounced her verdict: that Gaara’s body was surprisingly healthy considering what he put it through, but that his body was eating away at his muscle because he didn’t have much fat left on him and he got so little exercise so he wasn’t building new muscle.

“More food and exercise?” He sneered at her. “That’s all?”

“Don’t give me that look. You wanted my opinion as a medic, and that’s what I’m telling you. I was expecting it to be far worse, but from what I know of possessions, the host’s body is often repaired automatically by the creature possessing him. You’re lucky, really.” She didn’t say any more as thoughts of a different possessed boy flitted about in the minds of both of the room’s occupants yet remained unsaid.

Sakura had picked up her things and was leaving when Gaara, as he was pulling his robes back on, called to her.

“Have dinner with me.” As always it was an order, not a question. Who did he think he was? _Kazekage._ Her brain laughed at her in reply, and she grimaced.

“I don’t think that—” Her eyes rolled back in her head as she tried to think of a nice way to turn him down.

He had moved across the room so swiftly that she didn’t notice him again until he was directly in front of her. “You said I needed to eat more.” Her heart rate increased as she was sure his eyes had flicked over her body when he had said that. Sakura was suddenly afraid to ask about what he planned for exercise.

*  
*  
*

One of her hands slipped into his fine hair massaging his scalp with reflexive tightening of her muscles. It was nice, but did nothing to ease the sharp ache as his erection strained at every moan and sigh that escaped from those pretty, swollen lips of hers.

His fingers were slipping into her with increasing ease and soon she’d be ready enough to take him in. Gaara’s mouth moved from Sakura’s reddened nipple back up to her neck, and he stroked the tendons there slowly, making her squirm and further impale herself onto his fingers. She pulled his head up by the hair so that she could kiss him again, stabbing her tongue into him insistently, pleading with her throaty groan for release.

As soon as he had pulled from her, her other hand had sought his full erection and guided it to her entrance. She was being surprisingly forward this morning and he let his body be guided by her wishes; he didn’t mind relinquishing his power over the situation at this precise time because when she enveloped him he wasn’t thinking much of anything anymore. 

“Sakura,” He hissed as she clenched around him and he began to pump into her slowly.

“. . .I’m awake, I’m awake. . .” Was the only intelligible thing he could make out, and in response he gritted out a fearsome smile. She was his, all his, and this was everything he wanted right now.

*  
*  
*

After he had decided he wanted her, it was relatively easy to secure being in her presence as much as he desired whether she knew he was there or not. What had started as mere interest had blossomed into lust and consuming obsessive attachment after she had touched him. He hadn’t realized how much he had craved such contact until he had gotten it and reacted to it. Desire he was familiar enough with, but it had never had an object before and so he had never been compelled to do more than relieve himself when it became too pressing and then go about his life. But now, when he felt the stirrings of want inside of him, they had a face and a name.

_Sakura._

It whispered through his mind with an intensity that before only killing could have inspired. The only stoppers to his needs were the limited timeframe in which she would be here, and the fact that as of yet she still probably feared and disliked him. Oh, and pitied him, but he didn’t think of that as a bad thing because it gave him a way into her softer emotions. It was leverage, and he had been working it to get her to continue to dine with and talk to him in the evenings. He had taken her words seriously about eating more, though he was waiting on the exercise at the moment.

Things had progressed nicely, from his perspective, because of how she seemed to have grown more natural in his presence. Gaara knew she had talked to Lee, and of course the boy would only say good things about Gaara. Lee was that kind of person. Good, kind, friendly, simple Lee. He was almost too nice. That was his downfall. Gaara wasn’t nice. He knew what he wanted and he was going after it with any tactic that would work.

It was a shame that her ties of loyalty to Konoha ran deep, because if he could have gotten her to stay here, even as a missing nin, then he would have protected her. However, if Sakura was the kind of ninja who would be willing to do that, she probably wouldn’t have been nearly as fascinating to Gaara. He knew that she wasn’t that kind of person because it radiated out of everything she said to him. It was easy to get her to talk, and he knew far more about her than he ever suspected he would. He knew what her basic opinions were on politics, on medicinal practices, on children and marriage, and on the educational system that ninja were put through, to name a few examples. So much knowledge was pumped into that brain of hers that it was a surprise she didn’t explode with facts at random passers by.

Instead, Gaara milked her brain and even opened his mouth now and then to respond. It seemed to him, judging from the way her behavior had changed markedly in the past week since the month break between the second and third parts of the exam had begun, that the way to Sakura Haruno’s heart was through her brain.

Their burgeoning friendship was pleasant, but it wasn’t enough for Gaara. He needed more intimacy, and he needed it before she left or else he might not get a second chance at this.

“Are you angry about something?”

“What?”

“Your aura today is, well. . .” Sakura was in a particularly good mood because she had spent the entire day helping out at the hospital. The days in which she was kept busy seemed to be the ones in which she responded the best to him, so he had instructed that her aid be sought whenever possible by the medical staff. Her usual tactic when faced with an unfortunate topic was to avoid it quickly, and so she changed the subject. “I set a little boy’s arm today, and he told me they were playing ninja and he was the Kazekage. He had tried to lift a tub of sand but he fell down and it landed on his arm. Sand is pretty heavy. . .”

Gaara frowned at her as if she were crazy.

“I just thought it was cute that that’s what they were doing. Kids like to emulate people they admire.”

“Children also spend a lot of time pretending to be monsters.”

Sakura stiffened and her eyebrows drew in so Gaara knew that a burst of temper was soon to follow. “You can’t be optimistic about anything, can you?”

“I’d rather not have foolish expectations.”

She jumped up from where she had been resting on the ledge of the balcony above his office, where they usually retired to after eating, and grabbed his arm without thinking to drag him over next to her.

“See all those people down there? They count on you. They have faith in you. If they didn’t, then someone else would be doing your job. Well and good to think of yourself as a martyr, but maybe if you looked around you’d realize that you’re the only one who really thinks that about yourself after nearly a decade—mmfh.”

So many words. Sakura had so many words flitting around in her pretty head, and while he didn’t precisely believe this set, it had incited him to action when combined with the hand that hadn’t left his arm. She had been looking across the village and she didn’t expect the attack at all. Gaara realized he had almost unconsciously grabbed onto her arms and held them down so that she wouldn’t push him away while he kissed her, but she wasn’t even straining against his hold.

“You’re wrong about me, Sakura. I’m still selfish, still dangerous. What I want has simply altered slightly.” Her eyes were locked open in shock, frozen.

It was gratifying that she wasn’t frightened, but she did seem skittish. “What do you want. . . from me?”

“I want what we have now. . . and more.” She did try to jerk out of his grasp at that. Gaara leaned in close, felt her tremble briefly before she got herself under control. “If you can prove to me there’s no way you could ever want this, then I’ll consider letting you go and forgetting all about it.” It was a lie, but she didn’t need to know that.

“So aggressive,” She admonished. “No subtlety at all.”

They stood there in silent tableau on the roof while she thought things over.

“Not now. This is too much now.”

“There isn’t any time to waste. Either you accept this, or you admit that everything you did and said to me was motivated solely from pity and could never be anything more.”

She got upset at that. “I don’t want to have to hurt you, but I will if you pressure me into having sex like this. You know it stopped being pity a while ago, but whatever kind of friendship we have isn’t. . .”

“I know you’re not stupid, Sakura. You knew what was going on from the beginning. You knew I wanted this from you, your company in every form. Why are you resisting when you’ve been complacent to it for so long?”

Sakura bit her lip and looked away. “It’s too soon.”

“You know why I need this, you know what it means to me.” Gaara was getting desperate. This was it, this was his only real chance. They’d be back to square one after tonight if he failed and he’d never manage to build up her trust enough again to get close. “_Please._” The unfamiliar word was like poison in his mouth, truly a reflection of his desperation.

She searched his face, the dark circles around his eyes and the bags below them, the flared nostrils and the tightly drawn mouth. Once, almost imperceptibly, she nodded.

“It’s not that I don’t still have misgivings about this,” Sakura responded with an echoing smile when Gaara’s tense expression melted into one of relief. “And you better not think I’m easy. . . because I can still beat you, I swear.”

Her body was still shaking a bit when they kissed again, but he didn’t have to hold her hands down. Eventually, the shaking stopped entirely. She had accepted him.

*  
*  
*

Sakura locked her ankles behind him as the pace sped up. He growled low into her ear, probably without noticing he did so, and she felt a primordial thrill at how animalistic it was, how raw. The sweat on their bodies was making it difficult to retain a hold on his back and her hands eventually gripped his biceps, feeling the muscle bunch and strain as he continued to support himself at the elbow.

Gaara was intent on leading them quickly to completion, and she suddenly drove her hips up to meet him to push him even more entirely into her only to flex her muscles around him. He paused for a second to gasp out her name, adding a strangled chuckle and then tried to slow himself down to prevent himself from releasing too soon.

“Witch.” He murmured, looking down into her face slightly contorted by pleasure.

“Monster.” She responded without venom, and leaned forward to kiss him lightly and run her tongue over his lips in parting.

He looked determined, and she knew she was in for something when he pulled out of her entirely and flipped her over while she squealed at his busy hands tickling her sensitized flesh. Once she was in a better position, he entered her again and reached his hand around to stroke her bundle of nerves as well, working the nub with slick fingers. It wouldn’t be long for her at this rate. Gaara knew what he was doing.

*  
*  
*

She had been angry at herself the next morning; there was no getting around it. He had been perfectly correct when he had said she knew what she was getting into, but she didn’t think it would get that far. They would spend time together, they would flirt, and then they would part and Sakura would fondly think ‘what if’ in the privacy of her mind. That’s all she had expected, and all she had planned for with that big brain of hers. 

It had been doubly annoying last night because it had been good. 

His understandable inexperience coupled with her very little experience should have ended with both of them having a mediocre time, but Gaara had been so willing to learn and once she got over her embarrassment she showed him what she liked best and he had picked up on it quickly. What had made it so great was the fact that he was perfectly patient and able to take as long as he needed to so that he did it right. He acted as if they had all night, and from his perspective they did, since he wasn’t going to fall asleep any time soon. 

Sakura had been tentative about touching him at first, afraid to alarm him into raising his infamous defenses, but her exploration of his body went on without incident and she lost her apprehension in the following haze of sensation. Gaara trusted her, and he was far more relaxed having her touch him after days and days of being in her presence. It was a heady thing to have that much barely contained power in between her legs, and on top of her, and. . . She still blushed when she thought of some of things she had begun to demand of him when they had gotten more into the moment. 

Waking up to Gaara staring at her was the first step to dealing with the reality of what they had done. 

“Where is this?” Their actual transportation had been a flurry of sand and she wasn’t quite sure where they had ended up.

“This is a guest room. I have no bed in my room. I thought you’d want one.” She nodded gratefully.

Funny how she couldn’t think of his fond but protective assessment of her this morning as anything but cute. Gaara was quite attractive, even with the dark circles around his eyes, but that wasn’t why she was waking up next to him. He was someone who had more authority than she did, but that wasn’t it either. It wasn’t even because she thought that he needed someone in his life due to his extreme isolation despite his highly public job. No, in the end she had said yes because, damn it all, she liked him.

Sakura wasn’t willing to say it was love; that was too strong of a term to throw about when she would have to leave soon. They had only been around one another such a short time, but she did feel a bond to him. Lots of people liked Sakura, they were kind to her and they were friendly to her, but they also treated her like something that needed to be guarded. When she was around Gaara, even if it was a false assumption, she felt like she was the one protecting him. The role reversal had been refreshing, almost irresistible. Although, now she’d never again think of that pale body of his as frail after last night. The blush returned in full force.

Gaara sighed inaudibly, but she felt his body shudder as he pulled her closer to him. It wasn’t as if she had healed a bone fracture of his, or stitched together a torn muscle, but Sakura certainly felt like she was healing something in him. If only this hadn’t been the only way. Who was going to help her when she had to leave?

She looked across the room and knocked back her head so quickly and with such force that she clipped the wall. What was worse, now how was she going to explain to Lee and the rest of the Konoha people here why all her stuff had been moved into Gaara’s guest room and still retain her dignity?

*  
*  
*

She cried out, pushing her face down into the pillow to muffle it. Sakura surfaced to the sound and sensation of Gaara pushing into her body the last few times to assure him his own orgasm and then her shaking limbs collapsed her back down onto the sheets. The bed shifted as he got up and once Sakura had calmed her breathing down she flipped over to find him wandering naked back into the room, pulling on a shirt as he went.

“Is it that late already?” It wasn’t light yet, so far as she could see.

Gaara shook his head. “I have some work to catch up on. We retired early yesterday. You’re a big distraction.”

Sakura bit back the reply that she’d be gone soon so he wouldn’t have to worry. The grim expression he wore made her intuit that the thought occurred to him as frequently as it did to her. She didn’t need to voice it.

“I have a night shift at the hospital tonight, so I need to sleep.” 

Gaara’s tone didn’t change, but he turned away so she would see how he smirked evilly while he put on his trousers and robes. “Maybe I’ll come by and wake you up at lunch.”

“Good luck, I’m a heavy sleeper.” He sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his sandals and she crawled over to wind her body around his. Sakura brushed the air on the back of his neck to the side so that she could plant a solid kiss there.

“I think I’ll manage it somehow.” Gaara turned around to look at her, and ran a fistful of her hair through his fingers. He put on the mantle of his job, complete with hat, and walked out of the room without a glance back at the woman watching him intently.

Sakura fell back on the bed, pulling the sheet over her like a shroud. In this cocoon she wished she could somehow transform herself and change this situation so that it could work. Gasping for new air, she was forced back out into reality.

It might have been slightly messed up and entirely impermanent, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything. She closed her eyes and tried to settle her mind for the sleep she needed. Sakura could count on Gaara to follow through with his promise, and if that were true she’d need all the sleep should could get or else she’d be dead on her feet for her shift. The prospect wasn’t entirely as unpleasant as it could have been.


End file.
